Bored to Death

Boredom is a tough beast for me to tackle. 

Probably because of a mix of solely academic praise, Impostor Syndrome, and OCD, I find value from productivity, success, and forward movement. As of right now, however, most of my days are spent sitting at home, being broke, and biding my time while my theme park job is off-season and other projects aren't active. Of course, I'm doing a show right now during the evenings; we're in tech, and there are moments where I'm actually thankful for the time to rest. Currently, my weekdays are often felt as both agonizingly empty and blessedly quiet. 

It's safe to say that I'm going a bit crazy.

But just about a month ago, I was going crazy because of how busy I was. I was happy for my paychecks and activity, but I was exhausted. I longed for spare time that I could use to cook, clean, and breathe. 

So where the hell is my middle ground? Is it possible for my weeks to both be career- and paycheck-fulfilling while also having time to maintain a healthy domestic lifestyle? 

Maybe because of the career I've chosen, my life is subject to this cycle: full-time work to recovery period, ad infinitum. Maybe there are times in my calendar when I have to pull through and focus and other times when I need to recover and focus on myself. Maybe my life is (in many ways) a series of peaks and valleys, and I need to learn to ride the waves.

I think, in a way, this is an ideal schedule for my personality; I'm familiar with giving something my all and taking deep, deep breaks following the effort. I'm still young and still very early in my career, but I know I'm headed in the right direction. In bold fashion, I think I should let myself embrace the rest when it comes to me. Being an artist is really being an opportunist, right?