In Which Ciarlene Watches The Truman Show Immediately After Rewatching Groundhog Day

I am currently watching The Truman Show.

And I say, “am currently watching” because I am at this moment typing while listening to the audio in another Chrome tab. I’m taking breaks between dialogue to type these words.

(This movie is incredible so it may take a while.)

In a sense, my reality is often distorted; I make a living (or, at least, am trying to make a living) off of thrusting myself into pretend worlds and the imagination of myself and my peers. I am devoted to concentrating our reality - alright, just finished the movie (told you this was in real time) - in ways that reflect it back to us. Sharing experiences with other humans is crazy cool.

The Truman Show, for some reason, sparked a memory in my brain of random childhood memory; I remember as a kid pretending that my life was broadcast in front of an audience a la laugh track-sitcoms, justifying my actions for the sake of entertainment and sharing. Or just satisfying my desperate need of positive attention, that was also a big part of it. But I suppose the intertwining of my reality connecting to this portrayed reality ABOUT our respective stories of concentrating reality really just…spun my brain into a weird, self-referential existentialism. I spun myself into a tizzy.

As I grow as an actor, I grow a heightened sense of self-awareness. I guess this is leaking into my outside life and transforming it into something else altogether. Guess I’m down for the ride.